ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
The customer is always right.
The customer is also on hold, forever, which is exactly how the company likes it.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You got the ick because they ran for a bus. You've been single three…
- You left them on read "to be mysterious". They didn't notice. They were also…
- You "grew out of" your old friends. They grew out of waiting for you…
- Wisdom comes with age. So does standing on the landing with no idea why…
- You've been "about to start the gym" since January. It's October. The gym has…
- You said "we move". You've lived in the same bedroom since you were nine.
- You "work best under pressure". You don't. You just only work under pressure.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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