ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Being a parent means eating cold crusts standing up and calling it dinner.
You'll eat standing up for eighteen years. Then sit down and forget how.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your company will send flowers to your funeral. They'll be charged to your department's…
- Your company will send flowers to your funeral. They'll be charged to your department's…
- The best time to start saving was twenty years ago. The second-best time was…
- The house will be tidy again one day. The day they move out. Tidy,…
- “Just one more game” of FIFA was the most dishonest sentence in the English…
- The spark never fades. It gets downgraded to bin bags, then to a joint…
- Monday morning has the energy of a printer that knows you're in a hurry.…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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