ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You swore you'd never sound like your parents.
You just said "because I said so" in your dad's exact voice. He lives in you now.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Micro-dating is a thirty-minute coffee to see if there's a spark. There wasn't. She…
- You're "manifesting abundance". The only thing abundant is your payment reminders.
- You manifested your dream job. The universe received the request, checked your CV and…
- They're taking time away from social media. You know because they posted about it…
- You call your mum "for advice". You call her for the Netflix password.
- You said "this is my year". You've said it since 2019. The years have…
- Being a parent means eating cold crusts standing up and calling it dinner. You'll…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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