ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
2026 is the new 2016. Your knees did not get the memo. Your knees are getting different memos now, mostly from a specialist.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Quality family time: everyone on a different screen in the same room, harvested by…
- You started saying "oof" when you sit down. That's the countdown, out loud.
- Your company will send flowers to your funeral. They'll be charged to your department's…
- Inside every older person is a younger person. The younger person is furious about…
- Synergy is two departments confused about the same thing at once. They'll merge. You'll…
- Strangers online have voted you "not wrong". The same strangers once voted to give…
- The return to office is completely optional. So was the badge-swipe leaderboard, and yet…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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