ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your 47 open tabs are an accurate map of your inner life.
Someone will close them after the funeral. Unread.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month. The call took 94…
- The in-office lunch is optional. The man with the clipboard and no sandwich is…
- You got the ick because they ran for a bus. You've been single three…
- Your company will send flowers to your funeral. They'll be charged to your department's…
- When life gives you lemons, it sends the invoice later. With interest.
- The weekend is two days long. Monday is nine emotional days long, and you're…
- Doom spending is buying a heated eye mask because the news was bad. The…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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