ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Opposites attract.
Then they argue about the thermostat for forty years. Whoever outlives the other finally sets it.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- A budget is a list of things you're about to do anyway. Written down…
- You have 2,000 followers and nobody to help you move. Your audience is very…
- Your 47 open tabs are an accurate map of your inner life. Someone will…
- You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month. The call took 94…
- The in-office lunch is optional. The man with the clipboard and no sandwich is…
- You got the ick because they ran for a bus. You've been single three…
- Your company will send flowers to your funeral. They'll be charged to your department's…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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