ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Life is short.
A measurable chunk of it will be spent in the post office queue.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You pre-ordered it for the cape. The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
- You "don't do small talk". You also don't do big talk, phone calls, emails…
- You call it a "situationship" because "relationship" would mean someone has to commit to…
- You're "taking a social media break". You announced it on social media. Twice. With…
- You deleted the app "for good". That was 40 minutes ago. You've reinstalled it…
- He vanished for five months, then texted "haha so true" like he'd just popped…
- Youth is wasted on the young. You wasted yours too. Old age is next,…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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