ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
TUESDAY, 16 APRIL 2019
"It's only Monday" is the most threatening sentence in English.
It will be only Monday every week for the rest of your working life.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You said "that's so me" about a horoscope. It also described 600 million other…
- You're not getting older. You're getting closer. That's worse.
- You "love deeply". Mostly a fictional man who doesn't know you exist. Neither do…
- Life is short. A measurable chunk of it will be spent in the post…
- You pre-ordered it for the cape. The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
- You "don't do small talk". You also don't do big talk, phone calls, emails…
- You call it a "situationship" because "relationship" would mean someone has to commit to…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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