ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your company will send flowers to your funeral.
They'll be charged to your department's budget.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Find your purpose. It's in the drawer with the takeaway menus and a key…
- "It's only Monday" is the most threatening sentence in English. It will be only…
- You said "that's so me" about a horoscope. It also described 600 million other…
- You're not getting older. You're getting closer. That's worse.
- You "love deeply". Mostly a fictional man who doesn't know you exist. Neither do…
- Life is short. A measurable chunk of it will be spent in the post…
- You pre-ordered it for the cape. The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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