ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
A good night out now means home by ten.
Nobody had to come and get you. Nobody offered.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Love yourself first. Someone has to, and nobody else applied.
- Coffee doesn't fix Monday. It just makes sure you're fully conscious for it.
- Your company will send flowers to your funeral. They'll be charged to your department's…
- Find your purpose. It's in the drawer with the takeaway menus and a key…
- "It's only Monday" is the most threatening sentence in English. It will be only…
- You said "that's so me" about a horoscope. It also described 600 million other…
- You're not getting older. You're getting closer. That's worse.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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