ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
SUNDAY, 14 APRIL 2019
You're not getting older.
You're getting closer. That's worse.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You "love deeply". Mostly a fictional man who doesn't know you exist. Neither do…
- Life is short. A measurable chunk of it will be spent in the post…
- You pre-ordered it for the cape. The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
- You "don't do small talk". You also don't do big talk, phone calls, emails…
- You call it a "situationship" because "relationship" would mean someone has to commit to…
- You're "taking a social media break". You announced it on social media. Twice. With…
- You deleted the app "for good". That was 40 minutes ago. You've reinstalled it…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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