ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You call it a "situationship" because "relationship" would mean someone has to commit to something.
They haven't. They've committed to watching your stories within four seconds and replying to nothing.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- The battle pass costs £9.99 a season. Your childhood cost nothing and had better…
- You sent "lol" to avoid having feelings. It worked. You feel nothing, said nothing,…
- Money can't buy happiness. You'll never have enough to check.
- Your toddler has stronger opinions about sock seams than you've had about anything since…
- You've "been meaning to" for three years. The thing you meant to do has…
- You're "manifesting abundance". The only thing abundant is your payment reminders.
- Work smarter, not harder. You've chosen neither, and HR has a folder.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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