ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Being single means nobody steals your duvet.
It also means the duvet is the only witness to your life.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You "work best under pressure". You don't. You just only work under pressure.
- Your thirties are your twenties with consequences. The hangover lasts until Wednesday and reports…
- You said "my For You page knows me so well". It knows you're awake…
- Youth is wasted on the young. You wasted yours too. Old age is next,…
- You call it a "situationship" because "relationship" would mean someone has to commit to…
- The battle pass costs £9.99 a season. Your childhood cost nothing and had better…
- You sent "lol" to avoid having feelings. It worked. You feel nothing, said nothing,…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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