ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Beach body ready?
The beach has been ready for four billion years. It isn't waiting for you.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your startup is a chatbot that tells customers they're right. Investors loved it. The…
- Growing old is mandatory. Growing up was optional. You ticked "later". This is later.…
- You are exactly where you're meant to be. That should frighten you more than…
- They posted an apology in the Notes app. It was addressed to the fans.…
- You received 40 fundraising texts today. Democracy needs $5 by midnight. Every midnight.
- Parenthood is a long journey from "mama" to "can you send money" to them…
- Coffee doesn't fix Monday. It just makes sure you're fully conscious for it.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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