ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
MONDAY, 27 MAY 2019
You said "my For You page knows me so well".
It knows you're awake and lonely at 2 a.m. That's not a gift. That's data.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Youth is wasted on the young. You wasted yours too. Old age is next,…
- You call it a "situationship" because "relationship" would mean someone has to commit to…
- The battle pass costs £9.99 a season. Your childhood cost nothing and had better…
- You sent "lol" to avoid having feelings. It worked. You feel nothing, said nothing,…
- Money can't buy happiness. You'll never have enough to check.
- Your toddler has stronger opinions about sock seams than you've had about anything since…
- You've "been meaning to" for three years. The thing you meant to do has…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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