ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
FRIDAY, 31 MAY 2019
You manifested your dream job.
The universe received the request, checked your CV and moved you to spam.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Being single means nobody steals your duvet. It also means the duvet is the…
- You "work best under pressure". You don't. You just only work under pressure.
- Your thirties are your twenties with consequences. The hangover lasts until Wednesday and reports…
- You said "my For You page knows me so well". It knows you're awake…
- Youth is wasted on the young. You wasted yours too. Old age is next,…
- You call it a "situationship" because "relationship" would mean someone has to commit to…
- The battle pass costs £9.99 a season. Your childhood cost nothing and had better…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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