ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your teenager isn't ignoring everyone.
Just you. You're saved in their phone as "Do Not Answer".
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Every relationship has a honeymoon period. Yours was the walk from the bar to…
- They'll hold a minute's silence for you at the all-hands. It will be the…
- You "don't do small talk". You also don't do big talk, phone calls, emails…
- The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. You took it…
- Your alarm didn't wake you. The dread did. It doesn't have a snooze button.
- Abs are made in the kitchen. So are toasties. The toasties are undefeated.
- Your out-of-office reply is the most confident thing you wrote all year. Nobody noticed…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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