ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Micro-dating is a thirty-minute coffee to see if there's a spark.
There wasn't. She knew in four minutes. You paid for both.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You are exactly where you're meant to be. That should frighten you more than…
- Your Candy Crush streak is on day 212. The game hasn't been fun since…
- Your teenager isn't ignoring everyone. Just you. You're saved in their phone as "Do…
- Every relationship has a honeymoon period. Yours was the walk from the bar to…
- They'll hold a minute's silence for you at the all-hands. It will be the…
- You "don't do small talk". You also don't do big talk, phone calls, emails…
- The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. You took it…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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