ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Everyone's bringing back the dog filter.
Your face has been doing the droopy-ears look on its own since March, and it doesn't come off when you close the app.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Both parties say this is the most important election of your lifetime. They said…
- The light at the end of the tunnel is someone asking, "Can you see…
- Work smarter, not harder. You've chosen neither, and HR has a folder.
- You said "this is my year". You've said it since 2019. The years have…
- Your banking app pauses slightly before opening. It's deciding how to tell you.
- Somebody, somewhere, is checking their phone hoping it's you. It's a debt collector.
- Move fast and break things. You broke the coffee machine, the budget and your…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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