ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Children are a blessing.
They're also why the remote is in the bin and your savings are in the past tense.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Every birthday is a gift. The gift is one fewer birthday.
- Everyone's bringing back the dog filter. Your face has been doing the droopy-ears look…
- Both parties say this is the most important election of your lifetime. They said…
- The light at the end of the tunnel is someone asking, "Can you see…
- Work smarter, not harder. You've chosen neither, and HR has a folder.
- You said "this is my year". You've said it since 2019. The years have…
- Your banking app pauses slightly before opening. It's deciding how to tell you.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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