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ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED

DAILY DEMOTIVATION

A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.

ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION FRIDAY, 31 JANUARY 2020
The customer is always right.
The customer is also on hold, forever, which is exactly how the company likes it.

— Zack, unqualified

VERIFIED
UNHELPFUL

PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE

  1. Love yourself first. Someone has to, and nobody else applied.
  2. Running clears your head. Mostly of the idea that you're a runner.
  3. You said "this is my year". You've said it since 2019. The years have…
  4. Your savings account isn't empty. It's a memorial.
  5. You said "we move". You've lived in the same bedroom since you were nine.
  6. Your resting heart rate is excellent. It's had nothing else to do.
  7. Your startup is an app that replaces a phone call. With a waitlist, a…

THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR

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Newsletter / Issue No. 445

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