ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
"It's only Monday" is the most threatening sentence in English.
It will be only Monday every week for the rest of your working life.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your step counter used to set goals. Now it just sends "Hello?" like a…
- You said you're "booked and busy". Booked for a dentist you'll cancel. Busy rewatching…
- "Per my last email" is the closest you'll ever get to a duel. You'll…
- They'll hold a minute's silence for you at the all-hands. It will be the…
- When life gives you lemons, it sends the invoice later. With interest.
- Age is just a number. So is your cholesterol, and it's climbing faster than…
- The light at the end of the tunnel is someone asking, "Can you see…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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