ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Things will look better in the morning.
No. They'll just be better lit.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Loud budgeting is telling everyone you can't afford brunch. Quiet budgeting is going anyway,…
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
- "It's only Monday" is the most threatening sentence in English. It will be only…
- Your step counter used to set goals. Now it just sends "Hello?" like a…
- You said you're "booked and busy". Booked for a dentist you'll cancel. Busy rewatching…
- "Per my last email" is the closest you'll ever get to a duel. You'll…
- They'll hold a minute's silence for you at the all-hands. It will be the…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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