ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your desk plant is the only thing in the office still growing.
When you leave, someone will fight over the plant.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Things will look better in the morning. No. They'll just be better lit.
- Loud budgeting is telling everyone you can't afford brunch. Quiet budgeting is going anyway,…
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
- "It's only Monday" is the most threatening sentence in English. It will be only…
- Your step counter used to set goals. Now it just sends "Hello?" like a…
- You said you're "booked and busy". Booked for a dentist you'll cancel. Busy rewatching…
- "Per my last email" is the closest you'll ever get to a duel. You'll…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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