ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You quit your job to "find yourself".
Found you. You're on your parents' sofa, and the Wi-Fi password has been changed.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Everything happens for a reason. The reason is you. It's always been you.
- Your desk plant is the only thing in the office still growing. When you…
- Things will look better in the morning. No. They'll just be better lit.
- Loud budgeting is telling everyone you can't afford brunch. Quiet budgeting is going anyway,…
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
- "It's only Monday" is the most threatening sentence in English. It will be only…
- Your step counter used to set goals. Now it just sends "Hello?" like a…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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