ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
“I'm here for the right reasons.”
The reasons are a teeth-whitening deal and a fake tan.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your bio says "foodie, traveller, dreamer". You've been abroad once, and you still talk…
- You quit your job to "find yourself". Found you. You're on your parents' sofa,…
- Everything happens for a reason. The reason is you. It's always been you.
- Your desk plant is the only thing in the office still growing. When you…
- Things will look better in the morning. No. They'll just be better lit.
- Loud budgeting is telling everyone you can't afford brunch. Quiet budgeting is going anyway,…
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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