ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your gym membership is the most expensive guilt you've ever bought.
It renews automatically. So does the guilt.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- 2026 is the new 2016. Your knees did not get the memo. Your knees…
- Somebody, somewhere, is checking their phone hoping it's you. It's a debt collector.
- Your resting heart rate is excellent. It's had nothing else to do.
- The return to office is completely optional. So was the badge-swipe leaderboard, and yet…
- Your friends' group chat went quiet. It didn't. They made a new one. Same…
- Both parties say this is the most important election of your lifetime. They said…
- You say "it's not that deep" a lot. Your Notes app has 300 entries…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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