ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your fitness journey started on the second of January.
It ended on the fourth. The trainers still have the tags on.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Mondays aren't so bad. They're just Sundays that opened their bank statement.
- Your gym membership is the most expensive guilt you've ever bought. It renews automatically.…
- 2026 is the new 2016. Your knees did not get the memo. Your knees…
- Somebody, somewhere, is checking their phone hoping it's you. It's a debt collector.
- Your resting heart rate is excellent. It's had nothing else to do.
- The return to office is completely optional. So was the badge-swipe leaderboard, and yet…
- Your friends' group chat went quiet. It didn't. They made a new one. Same…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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