ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You're "chronically online".
Chronic means long-term. You've been online so long your eyes have a loading icon.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You said "we move". You've lived in the same bedroom since you were nine.
- You "don't believe in labels". You believe in being kept as an option.
- You said you're "so busy" this week. Your screen time says eleven hours a…
- You call your mum "for advice". You call her for the Netflix password.
- You started saying "oof" when you sit down. That's the countdown, out loud.
- You're not a CEO. You're one person with a logo, a free email account…
- You received 40 fundraising texts today. Democracy needs $5 by midnight. Every midnight.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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