ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
True love is choosing the same person every day.
They're choosing, daily, whether to mention your chewing.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You've "found your aesthetic". It's beige. It's always beige.
- You've rewritten that text nine times to sound like you didn't care. It's been…
- Your out-of-office reply is the most confident thing you wrote all year. Nobody noticed…
- The in-office lunch is optional. The man with the clipboard and no sandwich is…
- The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. You took it…
- You don't have a spending problem. You have an income problem, and it's terminal.
- Somebody, somewhere, is checking their phone hoping it's you. It's a debt collector.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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