ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Everyone's bringing back the dog filter.
Your face has been doing the droopy-ears look on its own since March, and it doesn't come off when you close the app.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You did the Mannequin Challenge again for old times' sake. The standing still was…
- Wildflowering means letting the relationship grow naturally, with no timeline. It has the growth…
- You're "manifesting abundance". The only thing abundant is your payment reminders.
- Your Candy Crush streak is on day 212. The game hasn't been fun since…
- The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. You took it…
- Your gym membership is the most expensive guilt you've ever bought. It renews automatically.…
- Your company will send flowers to your funeral. They'll be charged to your department's…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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