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ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED

DAILY DEMOTIVATION

A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.

ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION TUESDAY, 13 SEPTEMBER 2022
The update is 200GB.
Your free afternoon was smaller.

— Zack, unqualified

VERIFIED
UNHELPFUL

PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE

  1. You've "romanticised your life". It's a candle, a croissant and a playlist called "main…
  2. Be your own boss. Your new boss naps at 2pm, can't pay you, and…
  3. You said you're "booked and busy". Booked for a dentist you'll cancel. Busy rewatching…
  4. You have an eleven-step skincare routine. Your sleep schedule has none. The serum is…
  5. You can do anything you set your mind to. Your mind has set itself…
  6. It's not a career ladder. It's a hamster wheel. The hamster has a LinkedIn…
  7. Every parent has a favourite child. It's whichever one isn't currently talking.

THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR

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Newsletter / Issue No. 445

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