ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Loud budgeting is telling everyone you can't afford brunch.
Quiet budgeting is going anyway, checking your balance in the car and moving retirement to 79.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You're "in your villain era". You returned a lukewarm coffee and apologised four times.…
- The battle pass costs £9.99 a season. Your childhood cost nothing and had better…
- 2026 is the new 2016. Your knees did not get the memo. Your knees…
- Move fast and break things. You broke the coffee machine, the budget and your…
- You "romanticise studying". You've filmed it, lit it and soundtracked it. You haven't studied.
- Your fitness journey started on the second of January. It ended on the fourth.…
- They say sweat is weakness leaving the body. Yours has decided to stay.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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