ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your fitness journey started on the second of January.
It ended on the fourth. The trainers still have the tags on.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- They say sweat is weakness leaving the body. Yours has decided to stay.
- You've been "circling back" since March. At this point you're space debris.
- The customer is always right. The customer is also on hold, forever, which is…
- Monday has its own support group. The group is everyone. The meetings are also…
- The update is 200GB. Your free afternoon was smaller.
- You've "romanticised your life". It's a candle, a croissant and a playlist called "main…
- Be your own boss. Your new boss naps at 2pm, can't pay you, and…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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