ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your favourite music is now called "a classic".
So are you. It means old.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Someone laminated an "Acceptable Behaviour" poster for the office kitchen. It will still be…
- Somebody, somewhere, is checking their phone hoping it's you. It's a debt collector.
- Children are a blessing. They're also why the remote is in the bin and…
- You wanted a mini-me. You got a tiny negotiator who has never once lost…
- The spark never fades. It gets downgraded to bin bags, then to a joint…
- You've rewritten that text nine times to sound like you didn't care. It's been…
- You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month. The call took 94…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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