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ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED

DAILY DEMOTIVATION

A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.

ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION TUESDAY, 13 DECEMBER 2022
You have an eleven-step skincare routine.
Your sleep schedule has none. The serum is doing its best. It isn't a miracle worker.

— Zack, unqualified

VERIFIED
UNHELPFUL

PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE

  1. Everything happens for a reason. The reason is you. It's always been you.
  2. The customer is always right. The customer is also on hold, forever, which is…
  3. When life gives you lemons, it sends the invoice later. With interest.
  4. Your soulmate is out there. Currently leaving someone better on read.
  5. You "can't do mornings". You also can't do afternoons, evenings or emails.
  6. The customer is always right. The customer is also on hold, forever, which is…
  7. Every relationship has a honeymoon period. Yours was the walk from the bar to…

THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR

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Newsletter / Issue No. 445

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