ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Monday morning has the energy of a printer that knows you're in a hurry.
The printer has better job security.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your resting heart rate is excellent. It's had nothing else to do.
- Clear-coding means stating your intentions up front. Hers was "I have a hard stop…
- You have an eleven-step skincare routine. Your sleep schedule has none. The serum is…
- Everything happens for a reason. The reason is you. It's always been you.
- The customer is always right. The customer is also on hold, forever, which is…
- When life gives you lemons, it sends the invoice later. With interest.
- Your soulmate is out there. Currently leaving someone better on read.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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