ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
THURSDAY, 25 JANUARY 2024
Your financial advisor is a spreadsheet you opened once in January.
It's been screaming quietly ever since.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- The weekend is two days long. Monday is nine emotional days long, and you're…
- Every great company started in a garage. Yours will end there too. The car's…
- You've rewritten that text nine times to sound like you didn't care. It's been…
- You're "so random". You've told the same "so random" story at every party since…
- The hardest part of working out is getting started. You've made sure it stays…
- You hyped your mate's mixtape. You've never listened to it. Neither has anyone. Including…
- Things will look better in the morning. No. They'll just be better lit.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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