ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
True love is choosing the same person every day.
They're choosing, daily, whether to mention your chewing.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You got a houseplant to "take care of something". It died. Even the plant…
- The best time to start saving was twenty years ago. The second-best time was…
- Your financial advisor is a spreadsheet you opened once in January. It's been screaming…
- The weekend is two days long. Monday is nine emotional days long, and you're…
- Every great company started in a garage. Yours will end there too. The car's…
- You've rewritten that text nine times to sound like you didn't care. It's been…
- You're "so random". You've told the same "so random" story at every party since…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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