ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your favourite music is now called "a classic".
So are you. It means old.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You got the ick because they ran for a bus. You've been single three…
- You're "in your villain era". You returned a lukewarm coffee and apologised four times.…
- The in-office lunch is optional. The man with the clipboard and no sandwich is…
- Good things come to those who wait. You waited so long they went to…
- You have a "5-year plan". It's a Pinterest board. It's mostly kitchens.
- There's someone out there for everyone. Yours married someone else in 2019. They look…
- You've rewritten that text nine times to sound like you didn't care. It's been…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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