ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
MONDAY, 12 FEBRUARY 2024
Every Monday you swear this week will be different.
You've sworn it nine hundred times. The week stopped listening.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Every great company started in a garage. Yours will end there too. The car's…
- Your favourite music is now called "a classic". So are you. It means old.
- You got the ick because they ran for a bus. You've been single three…
- You're "in your villain era". You returned a lukewarm coffee and apologised four times.…
- The in-office lunch is optional. The man with the clipboard and no sandwich is…
- Good things come to those who wait. You waited so long they went to…
- You have a "5-year plan". It's a Pinterest board. It's mostly kitchens.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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