ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Life is short.
A measurable chunk of it will be spent in the post office queue.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Some days you're the pigeon. Most days you're the statue, and nobody remembers who…
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
- You're not getting older. You're getting closer. That's worse.
- You went "no contact" with your ex. You still check their Spotify. They're listening…
- "We should get dinner sometime" is a beautiful promise. One of you will die…
- Your resting heart rate is excellent. It's had nothing else to do.
- Rise and grind. Your teeth have been grinding all night. Your dentist bought a…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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