ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
A budget is a list of things you're about to do anyway.
Written down first, so the guilt has paperwork.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You've "been meaning to" for three years. The thing you meant to do has…
- You manifested your dream job. The universe received the request, checked your CV and…
- You've rewritten that text nine times to sound like you didn't care. It's been…
- You pre-ordered it for the cape. The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
- You're "healing your inner child". Your inner child is fine. It's your outer adult…
- You started saying "oof" when you sit down. That's the countdown, out loud.
- Remember when you stayed up late on purpose? Now you're up at 3am because…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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