ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You have 2,000 followers and nobody to help you move.
Your audience is very engaged. Just not with lifting a sofa.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You said "my For You page knows me so well". It knows you're awake…
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
- Your soulmate is out there. Currently leaving someone better on read.
- There's someone out there for everyone. Yours married someone else in 2019. They look…
- Disrupt the industry. The industry will disrupt you back, then buy your logo for…
- Some meetings could have been an email. You'll spend four years of your one…
- Your favourite music is now called "a classic". So are you. It means old.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 444
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