ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You reinstalled Pokémon Go to get your steps up.
Eleven kilometres later you'd caught three pigeons, a cold and a physio waiting list that will outlive the app.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Every Monday you swear this week will be different. You've sworn it nine hundred…
- Love yourself first. Someone has to, and nobody else applied.
- You "work best under pressure". You don't. You just only work under pressure.
- You have 2,000 followers and nobody to help you move. Your audience is very…
- You said "my For You page knows me so well". It knows you're awake…
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
- Your soulmate is out there. Currently leaving someone better on read.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 444
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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