ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Every Monday you swear this week will be different.
You've sworn it nine hundred times. The week stopped listening.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Love yourself first. Someone has to, and nobody else applied.
- You "work best under pressure". You don't. You just only work under pressure.
- You have 2,000 followers and nobody to help you move. Your audience is very…
- You said "my For You page knows me so well". It knows you're awake…
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
- Your soulmate is out there. Currently leaving someone better on read.
- There's someone out there for everyone. Yours married someone else in 2019. They look…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 444
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