ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You film "Sunday reset" videos.
By Tuesday your room has reset itself, to Saturday.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You "love deeply". Mostly a fictional man who doesn't know you exist. Neither do…
- Don't settle. Your standards already have. They didn't tell you.
- You "work best under pressure". You don't. You just only work under pressure.
- Age is just a number. So is your cholesterol, and it's climbing faster than…
- You reinstalled Pokémon Go to get your steps up. Eleven kilometres later you'd caught…
- Every Monday you swear this week will be different. You've sworn it nine hundred…
- Love yourself first. Someone has to, and nobody else applied.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 444
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