ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Rise and grind.
Your teeth have been grinding all night. Your dentist bought a boat.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- "Per my last email" is the closest you'll ever get to a duel. You'll…
- There's someone out there for everyone. Yours married someone else in 2019. They look…
- Micro-dating is a thirty-minute coffee to see if there's a spark. There wasn't. She…
- Your banking app pauses slightly before opening. It's deciding how to tell you.
- You said "this is my year". You've said it since 2019. The years have…
- "It's only Monday" is the most threatening sentence in English. It will be only…
- Your startup is an app that replaces a phone call. With a waitlist, a…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 444
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