ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Good things come to those who wait.
You waited so long they went to someone who didn't.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Being single means nobody steals your duvet. It also means the duvet is the…
- You have a "5-year plan". It's a Pinterest board. It's mostly kitchens.
- Micro-dating is a thirty-minute coffee to see if there's a spark. There wasn't. She…
- You call yourself "a bit of a foodie". You've ordered the same chicken 64…
- Rise and grind. Your teeth have been grinding all night. Your dentist bought a…
- "Per my last email" is the closest you'll ever get to a duel. You'll…
- There's someone out there for everyone. Yours married someone else in 2019. They look…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 444
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