ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your inbox reached zero once.
The server was down. You were briefly free and didn't notice.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- The best time to start saving was twenty years ago. The second-best time was…
- You've been "circling back" since March. At this point you're space debris.
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
- Treat yourself, they said. You did. Four times before lunch. Your pension felt every…
- You have an eleven-step skincare routine. Your sleep schedule has none. The serum is…
- Synergy is two departments confused about the same thing at once. They'll merge. You'll…
- Every company now has an AI assistant. It's the only member of staff nobody's…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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